Airport Delays

How to survive massive airport delays without losing your mind or humanity (as determined by my recent experiences):

1. Don't let yourself get too hungry or thirsty.  
I had a little baggie of emergency almonds in my purse.

2. Remember that the flight crew probably has nothing to do with the delays. 
They don't want to be stuck on the tarmac any more than you do.  Telling them that they should be embarrassed, as one man on my flight did, just makes you looks like a jackass to the rest of the passengers.  Be nice to the flight crew, because then they will be nice to you.


3. Bring more to read then you would think you'd possibly need.
I still prefer actual paper books for day-to-day reading, but for traveling, nothing beats my Kindle.

4. Pretend you are a character in a light-hearted movie.
Perhaps a farce or a romantic comedy about a young woman trying to make it as a professional dealing with comically terrible travel luck. Just don't imagine the movie is a thriller or a horror movie.  The Philly airport at 1:30am is pretty creepy if you're in a horror movie.

5. When other passengers irritate you, think that your excellent behavior can set a good example for them.
Not for any noble reasons. It's so you get to feel all superior and smug with yourself.


6. Imagine telling it to people later.
"And then we were told we'd be sitting in the plane for another hour! Can you believe it?!"

7. In the words of Donna and Tom from Parks and Recreation, "Treat Yo' Self!"
When I found out I'd be arriving to my hotel at 2a.m. at the earliest, I canceled my early-morning meeting for the next day. I dropped money on a delicious dinner snack thing once I got to the hotel, and I realllly enjoyed it.  (Seriously, are you familiar with GoPicnic? I just had one last night. They are so delicious and clever and yummy, and come with little Sudoku puzzles for you to do while you eat.) Then I slept till noon the next day.

Twin Peaks

My boyfriend and I watched all of Twin Peaks this summer.  It was great.  A lot of people say it declines in the second season, but we still loved it.  Even the ridiculous plotlines like Noreen's super strength or Ben Horne thinking he was in the Civil War were entertaining.  Any given episode could make me laugh and yet leave me afraid to go to sleep when it was over.  Really, I enjoyed just about everything except James's little film noir subplot.  And Bob is about the scariest villain I've ever seen.

If you don't know about Twin Peaks, here's a quick summary: Laura Palmer, a seemingly-sunny teenage girl, was murdered.  Agent Dale Cooper, played (fantastically) by Kyle McLachlan, comes to the small Northwest town of Twin Peaks to investigate.  Twin Peaks is full of weirdos, some neutral or good, like the log lady (a woman who carries a log with her everywhere, and tells people the messages it gives her), and some a whole lot more sinister.

So I loved the series.  Then we watched the movie, Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me.  It was a prequel, made after the series ended but taking place in the days before Laura's murder.  I was not so impressed.  I thought it would wrap up loose threads.  It did no such thing.  AND a different actress played Donna, one of the main characters.  I wanted to say "Laura, what are you doing, that isn't Donna!" as if a malevolent trick was being played on her.  I'm glad I watched it, because I wanted to be completist about this, but I don't want to re-watch it.

Cloud Atlas movie

Apparently the Wachowski siblings (who directed The Matrix, among other things) are going to direct a movie version of the book Cloud Atlas, which I adore.  Tom Hanks is set to star in it, but I don't know who he would play - Adam Ewing (from the first section) maybe? 

You can read the article here

A movie and a book

I watched the movie "Mystery Team" tonight.  It's about a trio of eighteen-year-olds who, as kids, started a detective agency in the Encyclopedia Jones mold, and are still running it.  People in town think they're weird, since they're now pretty much adults, but still try to solve cases like finding a missing autographed baseball or discovering who stole a carton of milk from the lunch line.  Then an eight-year-old girl hires them to find out who killed her parents.

Most of the jokes come from the juxtaposition of classic boy-detective tropes, like the enormous magnifying glasses or terrible disguises (mostly just a variety of mustaches), with the sight of nearly-grown men using them.  They're also, in trying to solve a murder, exposed to the seedier side of life, and are either shocked or simply uncomprehending (for example, they dress up in top hats and tails and speak with British accents when trying to sneak into a "gentlemen's club").

It was funny, vulgar, stupid, and entertaining.  My boyfriend said it seemed like the sort of movie that was spun off from a short bit of sketch comedy, and I agree.  But one of my favorite movies is "Wayne's World," so for me that isn't necessarily a bad thing.  The plot was very predictable and formulaic, but really I was watching it for the jokes.  I'd certainly watch it again, though I doubt it will become one of my faves.

I also finished the book The Vanishing of Katherina Linden by Helen Grant.  It's written from the perspective of an eleven-year-old German girl.  It was great. Pia, the heroine, falls in status at school after her grandmother dies by basically spontaneously combusting, making the other kids label her a freak.  (That bit alone didn't totally ring true for me.  Some children are cruel, but nearly ALL of them? And for such a reason? I don't know.)  She's left with only Stefan, the most unpopular kid in school, as her friend.

After girls their age start disappearing from town, Pia and Stefan are determined to solve the case. They're aided by Herr Schiller, an old man they've befriended.  As they learn more about local folklore from Herr Schiller and imagine terrible supernatural interference, real life intrudes from the troubles between Pia's English mother and German father.

I am not usually scared while reading, particularly during the day, but for some reason the end of this book just had me on the edge of my seat.  I said "Oh no!" out loud a few times.  Once I reached the climax, I committed to finishing the book and ignored my phone ringing and everything else until it was done.

I think things wrapped up a little too quickly - I would've liked a little more detail on how things settled for Pia.  But it was overall a great book.  If you like fairytales of the gruesome Brothers Grimm variety, and/or you like coming-of-age novels, you should definitely read this.

Two More Down

I finished The Turn of the Screw tonight (only a month behind schedule).  The ending is... ambiguous.  I vaguely remembered hearing that there were multiple ways to interpret the story; now that I've finished it, I've poked around on the internet and read some of the existing theories.  Some seem valid, others rather a stretch.  I need to discuss it with someone.

It was pretty good, but James' style of writing takes some adjusting to.  His sentences are long and winding, full of commas.

I finished My Year of Flops a few days ago.  Since it was mostly a collection of essays, it wasn't like it built to one big conclusion I can comment on.  But it remained entertaining and interesting throughout.  After reading it, I definitely want to seek out some lesser-known, impossible-sounding films like "The Apple."  I even kind of want to see "Elizabethtown" (he opens the book by ripping on it, then reconsiders it in the final essay, and finds it does have some charm).

I still have At Home to finish.  Enjoyable, solid.  Not especially fast-paced.  I'm excited to finish it, though, as I used some birthday Borders gift cards to stock up on novels to read.  Up first, probably, is Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro.  Oh no: I just double-checked the spelling of his name on wikipedia and may've accidentally read a spoiler.  I really, really hope not.

Well, anyway, I get to spend the long weekend reading and relaxing and visiting with family.  Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

More Ridiculous Nancy

OK, The Secret in the Old Attic remains ridiculous, but it's sort of charming, once you learn to go with it.  Take the following passage:

"Near the ventilator was a door which apparently lead to the room.  To Nancy's annoyance it had no knob or visible lock, nor could it be pushed or pulled.

'It must open by means of a secret spring,' she reasoned."

Or this one:

"The music had ceased, but from nearby came the sound of stealthy footsteps.  These were followed by muffled rapping sounds.

'There isn't a harp or a piano in here,' Nancy told herself, trying to regain her composure. 'Maybe this is just a trick to keep people out of the attic.'"

I love the logic! People set up strange noises and display skeletons to keep intruders away from their things, any suspicious-looking room must have a secret passage or hidden compartment, and if you just duck down behind an oil barrel, no one will ever see you.

It makes me want to rent the movie "Mystery Team." It's a comedy about a group of teenage boys who have a detective agency (like Encyclopedia Brown or the Hardy Boys), but are hired to actually solve a dangerous murder and are way over their heads.  It's supposed to be quite funny.

An Off Year

Yesterday I read the young adult novel An Off Year by Claire Zulkey.  I know Claire a little bit, through facebook, because she knows my cousins and because we're dog twins (we both own greyhounds and have parents with shelties).  An Off Year is about Cecily, a teenage girl who abruptly decides, upon arriving at her dorm, not to start college that year after all.  I read it all evening, and loved it.

Cecily has an actual sense of humor, something I feel like is missing way too often in female characters.  Also, something else I liked, there are no tidy resolutions, no perfect tying together of threads.  It felt like real life, like a real girl trying to sort out what she was doing with herself.  It dodges a romantic subplot, which I adored.  I hate that books (and TV and movies and everything) seem practically required to have a romantic subplot.

The romantic subplot thing reminds me (though it's not really the same) of how in action movie trailers, towards the end there will be a bunch of quick shots of the (male) characters doing exciting things: blowing things up, leaping from cars, punching someone, whatever.  And one of the exciting things is always kissing some hot woman.  Watch for it.  It's annoyingly predictable.

The Autograph Man

I'm about halfway through The Autograph Man by Zadie Smith.  (I've temporarily put down The Savage Detectives, not given it up for good.)  It's good so far.  Lighter than I expected - not a shallow comic novel like any of the Jeeves books, but still amusing and occasionally laugh-out-loud funny.  The main character, Alex-Li Tandem, is a 27-year-old British man who trades and authenticates autographs for a living.  His Chinese father died of a brain tumor when he was twelve, and his Jewish mother is still alive.

The book begins (third-person omniscient) on the day of Alex's father's death.  It then jumps years ahead.  Alex has just woken up from a bad trip on drugs an old friend had given him (and is now third person limited - limited to Alex).  As Alex goes about his day, figuring out what happened while he was tripping and dealing with the repercussions amongst his friends and girlfriend, we learn more about his life as an Autograph Man, his identity as a Jew, and his feelings about his father's death.

Note: If this sounds like a more morose take on "Dude, Where's My Car?" or "The Hangover," that's my fault.  That is certainly not the case.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, the movie

I saw the film version of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo tonight.  It was an incredibly faithful, skillful adaptation of the book.  But I can't recommend it.  There were some really disturbing parts in the book, and the film doesn't flinch from showing them.  It was hard to handle.  I kind of wish I could un-see it.  Doesn't it often seem that things are slightly easier to read about than they are to see?

Now I'm watching Mystery Science Theater 3000, the best antidote I can find.

The End of Oscar

I stayed up late to finish The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao last night.  Man.  It was really good - at first I thought it was pretty funny, but as I made progress through the book it seemed more and more serious.  I still have a couple questions about how some things actually happened, but overall I felt satisfied at the ending (if sad).

I had never heard of Rafael Trujillo before, the Dominican dictator from 1930 to 1961 (when he was assassinated).  What a monster - a tyrannical, megalomaniacal murderer.  There's so much I didn't know: his army slaughtered over 20,000 Haitians in a massacre, he had secret police, he had his opponents tortured and killed, he took young women from their families for himself... Ugh.  The whole book didn't focus on him (at least half took place in the 1980s in New Jersey), but enough history was in there to horrify and educate me.

I start The Good German by Joseph Kanon next.  I already read his book Stardust last year - a good thriller  woven in with the beginnings of McCarthyism.  I look forward to this next one.  It was made into a movie in 2006, and it got good reviews, so I take it as a good sign.  Aren't books always better than movies based on them?

On a related note: as a ten-year-old I read the novelization of "Batman Returns" and thought it was a book about Batman that the movie was based on.  It was one of my favorite books.